City Gritty

April 2005    San Francisco

1. Riding The Double-Deuce

I was riding the #22 Fillmore bus recently, and once again it proved to be the most sketchy and colorful bus line in town. Witness the latest overheard exchange:  Gangsta boards the bus, flows down the aisle and pours himself into a seat next to one of his boys, who was pulling on an ass-pocket flask of Ten-High bourbon. It seemed that some time had passed since their last great meeting of the minds:


yo yo

yo yo yo

yo yo yo yo


Yo so whatchyou been doin?

Ah, I been screwin whores, doin graffiti, drinkin the High Life…..doin some skatin on the side. Mostly screwin whores. You? Why you drinkin the hard stuff?

Man, I just got outta jail.

Right on. Right on.

Ah, the Dirty Deuce.


2. Dog Eat Dog

I was driving in the Lower Haight today when I caught some commotion off to the side. I looked over and spied a chihuahua tied to a parking meter, bug-eyed and yapping furiously (what else?), but for once it had good reason: a dachsund strolling past had stopped to pin the little rodent to the sidewalk, and was humping it most vigorously. The miserable purse-rat was tied in place and didn’t have much say in the matter, much to it’s distress. As I recall the event, that dachsund was really gettin’ it, too: paw on the back of rat-dog’s head, yanking its tail, kicking it in the ass and calling it “bitch!” all at once. Curiously, the guy walking the weiner-dog was not stopping the action at all – he appeared calmly proud of his little big man. That’s all that I noticed and all that can report, because I was trying not to drive up onto the sidewalk.

Nobody loves a chihuahua.

– Menace


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